Saber's Shadow
by LazerTH
Summary: A Jedi convert of Revan's cause confronts the Sith Lord's enemy, who reveals the truth of the Light Side to the Dark Jedi.
1. Victory

Saber's shadow

Author's note:

This is my first Star Wars fanfiction, inspired by the movies, cartoons and games but most of all by Crimson Huntress who provided information on the finer details of the Star Wars universe. This is for you, Hanny.

Disclaimer: Kudos to Darth Madolin for her Dark Side "affliction". You know what it is.

* * *

So it was all over, the advance and retreat, the doubts and fears. I have deserted my master and the Jedi Council in favour of the Mandalorian Wars… and Revan. How a single woman can be so bewitching to so many Jedi continues to impress me. As her follower, I am drawn to her by more than professional attraction. The Force itself… or, as many have told me, the Dark Side of the Force, enchants me to her cause. I will no longer stand idly by and meditate with the Light Side when the fate of the Galactic Republic is weighed on the scales. The Force shall set us free.

Approaching the Mandalorian fleet aboard a Republic battle cruiser, I ponder the warnings of my former master. That was all he ever offered; threats and cautions! No words for decisive action! No encouragement when I bested my peers; he chided my ferocity! How has the Council survived this long, I wonder, when peace is their highest ideal? Civilization was not built on peace! The first Sith Lord, Ragnos, understood that much. He was invincible, the only Lord to never know his better save death itself! It is death that the Dark Side harnesses, and by exterminating these confounded warmongering Mandalorians, we shall bring life to the Republic once more!

"_All hands, prepare for combat."_

While the klaxons sounded their battle cry I went to rally the Jedi present on this ship. We boarded the elevator to the fighter docks, for no better pilot is there than one strong in the Force.

"Brothers of the Force! Here begins our sortie on those warriors who believe they are masters of the universe. We shall make them cower before our might in space and on land, until none remain!"

I ignited my saber and held it aloft. We all crisscrossed blades, causing the walls to shine blood red. Battle spirit surged through us, and we shouted as one brotherhood, _"Death to the Mandalorians!"_

The harsh glare of lasers streaking through the void. The muffled explosions of enemy fighters all around you. The constant uncertainty of life or death. That was the essence of a close-quarters dogfight. With more than ten thousand fighters engaged in combat, the weaving and spinning, the swooping and rolling blended into an endless flurry of movement and destruction either your own or the enemy's. Ships frequently collided, cruiser cannons of both sides destroyed their own and chain explosions were common in this milieu of chaos.

With the Force as my ally, I was never struck. It guided every twitch of my hand on the control column, every tremble of my finger on the trigger. I put my complete trust in the Force, focusing all my concentration on its unseen promptings and ignoring all else around me. I entered into a state akin to Battle Meditation, and knew my brothers of the Force were also doing so, supporting each other though we sped kilometers apart. In the Force, distance is meaningless.

No matter how skilled the Jedi, the Republic soldiers were not, and their flagship was lost in the early stages of the skirmish. The shockwave sent my fighter into a barrel roll that almost tore its wings off.

"_Retreat!"_ hailed the pitiful cry from the secondary command ship. The Republic squadron turned tail and ran.

"Fools!" I ground my teeth; rage boiling up my throat, "We will not show the weaker side here!"

I arced my fighter toward the Mandalorian flagship, cutting communications with the rest of the fleet.

"**What are you doing?" **queried my brethren through the marvelous telepathic link of the Force.

"The Council and Republic are cowards, but I will not join their ranks!" 

Three broke formation to join me.

"**You are a fool, but a brave fool."**

"**Some would call it courage."**

While the bulk of the enemy chased the retreating Republic, the flagship's cannons were aimed at us. As we could plainly see their huge turrets (to compensate for their small minds, no doubt) we arrived near their shielded docking port.

"Destroy the power couplings!" 

Fire shredded the cables and the screen flickered out of existence. There was a moment of anxiety when an onboard cannon destroyed one of our ships, but its pilot had already ejected and was swinging at said cannons with all his might, slashing through the duratanium casings with impunity. We landed our remaining three safely and leapt from our cockpits, lightsabers hissing into the fray as Mandalorian guards formed ranks against us. Blaster fire was returned to them in kind and their pathetic mêlée weapons turned to scrap under our assault. We located the elevator and were on our way to the bridge when it stalled in the barracks. Someone had grown wise to our plans.

"Is that just our luck?"

I tittered.

"It is just our opportunity. Let none survive!"

Though famous for their battle suits, there is no material in the galaxy known to deflect a lightsaber blade short of a forcefield or another lightsaber. These soldiers had been hastily warned and, in such a massive fleet, mêlée shields were saved for ranking officers. We found some just picking their weapons off the racks. Two of my companions threw their lightsabers that cut apart the racks, leaving the Mandalorians defenseless. We passed through them as a hurricane. Heads and limbs rolled as we moved through the barracks, whose quarters were so narrow it rendered blaster fire ineffectual.

"How do we reach the command deck?"

"There is a map terminal for recruits," I smirked. When we found it, the layout of the ship appeared on my datapad.

"Here we go," my finger pointed from the barracks through the corridors to the deck, "And we can sell this to the Republic for credits."

"Ambitious, aren't you?" one commented, dusting his knight's robes, "There is more to be gained by returning a Mandalorian head."

We sustained ourselves by draining life from soldiers we felled. Force lightning dealt with the shielded ones – there is only so much energy a forcefield can withstand, and the Force is eternal.

"It is enjoyable to crush the living," one noted as she did so to a Mandalorian's arms, "they make pleasing noises," she shattered his ribs and smacked him into another soldier who tumbled face-first into my waiting lightsaber. I stepped over them and to the deck's magnetically sealed blast doors.

"_You cannot hide!"_ I thundered via Force Scream, punctuated by a decisive thrust to the door's locking mechanism. I was shaking, bubbling over with the thrill of the hunt. I imagined their fear. I imagined them shuddering in their oversized boots, waiting for the end. The lock burnt off. I forced the doors apart.

"_Fire!"_

I fully anticipated this; what self-respecting invader would not? I brought up a Force barrier that the sizzling energy bounced off of while my allies dashed at blurry speeds around the deck, debilitating the defenses with swift sure strokes. I marched toward the Mandalorian commander, glittering in his ceremonial armour.

"_This_ is the passion. _This_ is the victory. _This_ is the freedom of the true Force! You have learnt its power this day, and will not survive to tell the tale."

That sinister, hated accent rasped from the faceplate.

"My people will destroy the Republic and the Council! The galaxy shall speak our tongue!"

Four red beams leveled around him.

"I find your lack of vision… disturbing."

He was cut apart brutally, savagely as the beast he and all his kind were.

After setting the flagship on a collision/detonation course with its fleet, we escaped the way we came. I allowed the one who had lost his ship to be my gunner.

"Our reward shall be great," he crooned, bouncing a chain of Mandalorian heads on his knee.

"This tale shall be told to all who would follow Revan, as proof of our power. It shall turn many Jedi to our cause."

Behind us the flagship took down three other command ships in its explosion radius. As the fighters had returned to those ships, I estimated ten thousand dead. It was truly a day of victories.

We were commanded to stand before Revan herself. Dressed in our finest black robes we heroes awaited an audience in her meditation chamber. It was as dark as the void itself, and no glimmerings of life other than our own could we feel; yet the Sith Lord appeared to us. Startled, I marveled at how well she had masked her presence, that not even we elite could detect the flow of the Force through her until she permitted.

"_**Kneel."**_

It was not so much as a command as it was irresistible. Her magnanimous voice carried the weight of a planet's darkness, and it dropped us as though we were flies.

"**_You disobeyed _my_ direct command."_**

That cold tone caused fear to palpitate through us all. I was the only one to summon enough courage to speak.

"We dealt a critical strike to the enemy, my Lord."

If her voice washing over us all was terrible, it was the depths of dread to hear it focused on me alone.

"**_Your victory does not matter – your obedience to _me _does!"_**

I knew what she would say next, and my heart dropped to my feet.

"_**I find your lack of faith… disturbing."**_

The invisible, unknowable pressure of the Force stopped my breathing. Those who I thought were my allies made no move to aid me, immobilized by terror. My throat burned for air. My limb spasms were to no avail, not even my knowledge of the Force could save me from this constricting horror in the awful dark! When it seemed my lungs would burst the pressure released, leaving me crumpled and gasping.

Light flooded the chamber, and brought further fright to us, for the Sith Lord was revealed in combat armour as gleaming red as her legendary saber. We hated the light, and wished it would go away to spare us the mask of disgust imprinted on her stormy face.

"_Cretins,"_ she sneered, "Lower than a Gizka's dung! How dare you prize your initiative above MY word! With or without your puny following, I will eradicate the Mandalorian scum from the Outer Rim!"

"Mercy!" cried the female among us, who had so recently lorded over the deaths she caused, "Our lives are yours!"

"_They always will be!"_ Revan's booming voice resounded, "Not your own, but mine, forever!"

This seemed to assuage her rage to some degree, as she retracted her lightsaber.

"You yet have use to me. Go to Corellia, where my enemy lives. Strike him down, or never return."

We exited her chamber… we retreated from it! None wished to prolong the utter shock of our disobedience.

"Stand firm, brothers," quaked the one who had cried mercy, "Our lives have not been forfeit. We shall earn her good graces once more."

How pathetic are the attentions the weak pay to one another in the shadow of the strong!


	2. Corellia

Corellia. A place I loathed because of my overbearing former master. The fields were too green, the oceans too blue, the hills too near, the city too open. Everything smacked of his laugh, his smile and his mannerisms. We had no trouble finding Revan's enemy – all indications pointed to the 'hermits' who lived at the base of the purple mountains.

"More than one?"

"The Council is also her enemy, and they are more than one," I reminded my brother in arms as we approached beneath the shade of night, "But we are _also_ many."

There was one, alone, outside the small arrangements of makeshift huts, sitting beside the manmade well. Quickly, without sound, we employed the Force to leap all at once and bring our lightsabers down in a group attack that would spell fatality for even the most agile Jedi.

They never struck, locked into position just above his head.

"You do not wish to harm me."

"We do not wish to harm you."

We deactivated our lightsabers and stepped back before we were even aware of the mind-trick. The man stood without haste, turning as he did to watch our faces. His eyes rested on my oddly detached ones. I knew my orders, but now lacked the conviction to do so.

Those eyes transfixed me. No human possessed irises the colour of a deep violet sunset. They radiated a serenity that erased all sinister motivations within me.

"What is your name?"

"Darth Sinistral."

Though I was no Sith Lord or apprentice thereof, I did have illusions of grandeur.

"What is your true name?"

His quiet question coaxed truth.

"Sar-Salan."

"A human with a Zabrak name?"

"A Zabrak saved my parents from bounty hunters. They named their first-born after him."

The man walked around me, ignoring the others.

"They may sleep."

Without fuss, they all did so.

"Your powers are strong."

"Power," he repeated, an edge of disappointment creeping into that mellow tone, "That is all you people, Dark and Light, ever think about."

"The Light Side is preoccupied with duty, or so it claims."

"Yes, exactly, 'so it claims'. The Council is forever worried they do not have enough power to counteract the Sith threat, which is no more than an affirmation of the inborn need for power that is, of course, a result of the survival instinct. The Council always tries to find powerful Force adepts, powerful allies and abundant resources. Why else would they be so affected by the Dark Side?"

"What are you saying, that their attempts to gain power caused their involvement with the Sith?"

His smile brought calm.

"Yes. That is a truth not even _they_ admit to. You Darksiders are more honest with who you are. The Lightsiders are searching for a truth that they do not wish to believe."

His strange wisdom inspired curiosity.

"What is this truth?"

"That to be of the Light Side, one must have no desire for power."

I wanted to laugh, but instead fell into thought.

"Power corrupts…" I pondered aloud, "And attracts more powerful beings. The Light Side, though suppressing its desire for power, _still_ wants power, and thus inevitably draws the Dark Side, whose desire for power is absolute…"

"That has always been true. This is why Sith will always exist side by side with the Jedi in an eternal equation bound by the desire for power. The very first Jedi who broke away and lusted after power was only desiring that which was repressed by Jedi teachings that, in turn, are guilty of giving great power without teaching indifference to it."

"You support the Dark Side, then, and its quest for total power and control."

The man closed his eyes.

"On the contrary, my young learner, I _am_ the Light Side."


	3. Joe

I remember no more of that night, for he must have commanded me to sleep. The next morning, more humans were gathered around: an adult female, a young boy and girl. They had his eyes. My allies were gone.

"They have fled Corellia, exiles to both the Council and Revan," he answered my unspoken query. I stood from the grass, noting the absence of my lightsaber.

"Good. You noticed the departure of your friends _before_ you thought of your weapon and, concordantly, your own safety."

"Return it to me."

Odd. I was not angry with them, but rather, my request was supplicating. The Dark Jedi in me quailed at my weakness. The adult female's laughter reminded me of wind chimes.

"Your need for survival is the last thing you will unlearn."

I frowned.

"I am no Padawan!"

"Peace," spoke the man, "This is my family, my wife and children."

My eyebrows sat high on my forehead.

"You, a Jedi, married?"

An amused twinkle passed through his eyes.

"I have no affiliation with the Council or Revan."

"Then how… last night you disarmed four Dark Jedi, including myself!"

He rested his hand on my shoulder, and it sent a wave of relief through me that was so palpable my knees grew weak. The fear of Revan, the worries of my own safety were flooded away by the inrush of bliss. I fell to my knees, staring at my own hands in wonderment and shock. Who was this man that he affected me so?

"Do not be afraid," spoke the boy.

"You are with us, now," concluded the girl, as though it were the simplest fact in the galaxy. Reduced to meekness by the sheer Force I had experienced, I looked up to him.

"Who are you?"

"Call me Joe. This is my wife, Jen, my son, Bob, and my daughter, Alice."

"Such foreign names."

"We try."

"Now what was this about _you_ being the Light Side? That sounds like Jedi arrogance to me."

The children laughed at me.

"Hey."

I was annoyed because they made me want to laugh, as well. Who _were_ this strange people? Joe gestured to the largest hut.

"Care for some breakfast?"

I did. There I was, a Dark Jedi, slayer of Light, beholden to the Sith Lord Revan, having an amicable meal in a rustic sunshiny room with a family I could have belonged to.

"How is your master?"

"My former master," I corrected immediately, angry at the topic, "I think of him no more."

"You think of him every day," Alice mentioned, casually munching a bun. Blood shot to my face in shame. Jen nodded.

"To confront the Light, one must first confront the shadow."

"He was a father to me," I admitted, words tumbling easily from my hypocritical tongue, "Most masters are parent figures to their Padawans. He was more than that; he was a friend. But all he ever did was find _fault_ with me. No praise. No admiration. I wanted to please him so much that I ended up hating myself for being inferior."

"He was proud of you," interjected Joe. I slammed my hand on the wooden table, grieved and furious.

"_That's beside the point! _It is one thing to be proud; it is another to admit it! What good was his pride if he never gave me any sign? Why was he always so _cold?"_

"The Jedi teach non-attachment," Bob offered, "He followed the Code."

"Yes, the Code, the thrice-damned Code!"

"I agree with you."

Surprising me with his agreement, Joe continued, "The Code allows for no warmth, no affection. As Bob said, no attachment is to be made. They say it interferes with one's duty."

Joe traced a finger along Jen's arm, causing jealousy in me that I never knew such intimacy.

"The Jedi have such a difficult time with love because they are always fighting for some impossible ideal of universal peace."

He spread his arms to encompass his family.

"_This_ is my peace. This is all I need."

Cowed by this revelation, I remained silent.

"Even if we were to be separated or die," said Jen, "the Force binds us all."

"Hah," I barked bitterly, "Then where is your mother, or your grandmother? The Jedi discourage love because, if love is broken by death or otherwise, the negativity caused would lead to the Dark Side."

"I will never understand the youth of today."

I spun around in my chair, and behind me was an elderly woman cloaked in shimmering blue light. Jen lifted her hand in greeting.

"Hello, mother."

I stuttered incoherently. Jen Senior strolled over to us and patted Bob and Alice on their heads.

"How are my favourite grandchildren?"

"Behaving, grandmamma," they chorused as if by rote. I briefly wondered how often the dead visited this family, flitting from room to room, talking of the distant past. My mind reeled. Joe steadied me with his hand and that wonderful calm settled on me once again.

"Who's your young visitor?" Jen Senior crooned.

"Sar-Salan, granny," Alice chirped, "Daddy's training him."

"Oh? Joe, be nice to this one. The last time you talked to them, we lost a few planets."

"I apologized for that Sith Lord eons ago."

"The Force knows not time, son-in-law. Farewell, I'm off to visit cousin Herbert on Coruscant."

"Farewell," said the family while I sat there stupefied as the ghostly granny faded. Joe sighed.

"She _always_ brings that up when she visits."

"Which Sith Lord?" I managed to ask.

"Ragnos," he reminisced as though it were yesterday's news, "I gave him a piece of my mind about his actions on the Sith home world, and he lost his temper."

"You lie."

"No, you're lying to yourself. You always have, Sar-Salan. You and all who form allegiances tied by the Force constantly lie to yourselves."

"Now Joe," warned Jen with a stern glance. Joe broke off his commentary, shrugged and went about clearing the dishes away.

I needed fresh air, badly. From all I had seen, would I believe Joe to be over a_ thousand _years old?


	4. Jen

"You seem troubled."

I had climbed a hillock to overlook the valley between the purple mountains. A river wound its way between, giving me the impression of a snake among giants.

"Jen, is all that your husband says true?"

She sat beside me, viewing the valley and the way the shadows became denser in the lower regions, turning from lilac to indigo to midnight blue. She did not hide her mind from me, at least.

"Yes. The Light Side is a curious master. Every now and then it… inhabits a Force adept and gives him or her an extended life. The Dark Side does the same, and that is why Joe confronted the first Lord."

"You mean that they were supreme vessels of the Light and Dark Side of the Force?"

"Yes, until another comes along. That is why the Sith Lord died of old age and Joe did not – while Marka Ragnos' purpose was to establish the Sith Order, Joe's work was not yet done. I believe the Force gives prolonged life in order for him to accomplish a task."

"What do you think it is?"

She simply looked at me. I blinked.

"No."

"Yes. Not lightly did Joe take you under his wing – you are his replacement."

"Me? A carrier of the Light Side?" I laughed, on my feet, "I have slain hundreds for the sheer pleasure of it."

"Yes, the Dark Side flows strongly through you, but you have not forgotten your master."

"What does he have to do with me?"

"Everything, really. You still hold a place in your heart for that father figure."

"Lies."

"I do not lie. You have buried your feelings, yes, but you yearn for the days when life was as simple as father and son."

"Why do you anger me with this, this truth?" I demanded, clenching my fists and pacing (for I would dare not touch her), "How can it turn me to the other Side?"

"Truth _is_ the Light Side. Though your emotions ravage you, though you slay for more power, you are the little boy smiling at your master as he tells stories of his youth."

"NOO!"

The ground shook beneath my rage, causing a landslide to block the river below. Unruffled, Jen stood.

"How symbolic. Your little snake among giants has had its back broken. Perhaps now it will learn its place."

She walked by me. I collapsed into a sit, weary, watching water fill half the valley below and overflow my petty landslide to continue on its ageless way.

"Will the Light Side overtake me as easily?"


	5. Bunnies

The next morning I awoke when something fuzzy snuffled my ear. I yelped and was on my feet instantly, reaching for my lightsaber that wasn't there.

"Chi chi?"

There was a purple rabbit sitting at my feet, looking up at me with wide black eyes. I blinked.

"What in the galaxy are you?"

"That's Hanny. She has a large family."

I had slept outdoors; as I was accustomed to… another habit I couldn't break from my former master's training.

"What are rabbits doing here?"

Joe petted Hanny, who twitched her whiskers, staring fixedly at me.

"They're Force sensitive bunnies."

"Bunnies?"

"Yes, bunnies. Her sister is sitting on your head."

"Wha?"

My hand reached for my hair and was nipped. I jumped four feet in the air and the rabbit came tumbling down to be caught by Joe.

"Hey, be nice to Sarah. Her brother's on your shoulder."

"GAH!"

Another violet bunny fell off me and sheltered behind Joe.

"You're not very good with animals, are you? There, there, Jake, he's not going to hurt you."

"Oh my gizka, the bunnies!"

Over twenty of them poked their little heads and large ears out from behind the tree trunk where I had slept. Eyes shifting side to side, I stepped slowly back.

"Get them away from me."

"But they're Force sensitive. They feed off the Dark Side."

"Why the Dark Side?"  
"Why not? You don't see bunnies hopping all over the Council, do you?"

"Chi chi," agreed Hanny.

"I'm sensing her thoughts," I said with something near hysteria as her family hopped around me in a fuzzy dance of merry glee.

"Yes. She lives in the mountains near here, which probably explains her purple fur as camouflage."

"I don't care. Get them away from me before I Force them!"

Joe chuckled.

"Oh, ye of little knowledge. They are Force immunes."

"You've got to be joking."

"I do not joke. They _feed_ off the Force. The Dark Side is like candy to them."

While the bunnies climbed onto my arms and head he casually strolled by.

"As long as you worship the Dark Side, you'll have Bunny-ism."

Now I knew why Revan and her kin traveled in outer space and rarely touched ground. Groaning with the furry weight of bunnies hampering me, I followed Joe.

"Is there any _other _way to get them off me?"

"Yes. Either you seek medical help, or you ask them."

"I will not debase myself to converse with animals!"

"Your problem."

Bob and Alice were giggling at me from the windows of their hut. Growling and grumbling beneath my breath, I turned to the largest bunny sitting on my boot.

"Hanny… get off me."

"Chi chi," she prompted.

I sighed.

"_Please?"_

"Chi chi!"

They scampered to wherever Dark Side bunnies go. I flopped on the grass, relieved of the fur and chattering that still haunted me.

"The bunnies… the bunnies!"

Joe stood over me.

"Well, get up. Let's start your training."

"What training?"

His foot prodded me in the ribs.

"You're not getting any younger. Stand up!"

Muttering, I complied. In the morning light, his face took on an almost luminous radiance that was not of this world. He handed me my lightsaber, which I took gladly and swished around, the red trail humming softly.

"The Force. The blade. The Jedi. All are one."

Out of his robes an archaic lightsaber leaped into his hand and ignited. A beam of pure white pulsed before my eyes. I stood back, the grass around him rippling. The raw power I felt… it made my own bloodthirsty saber tame in comparison. But more than that was the _presence_ of its wielder. He twirled it as effortlessly as air, balancing it on the palm of his hand.

"Without the Force, a Jedi is a helpless babe. Without the Force, a lightsaber is no better than a laser cutter. The Force drives both to become a singular being of immeasurable potential."

He leveled that ethereal blade at me. Though yards apart, I could feel it burning in my chest.

"I have seen planets annihilated by a single Sith Lord. But I tell you, the Dark Side is a corrupted and necessarily incomplete bastardization of what the Force can be."

"It controls the galaxy now," I retorted, "Revan will win the war."

"She shall. But another will always rise. Such is the nature of the Light Side, it needs only _one_ to effect its will."

"Why don't you do it yourself?"

He retracted his white blade.

"My time is at an end. Though I seem young, I am weary. This galaxy needs a leader who is of the current generation, not an old critic like myself. I will not live long enough to ensure the Light Side will be upheld."

"You want _me_ to lead a galaxy."

"No. I want you to give it hope. Now strike me."

"Pardon?"

"Strike me with your lightsaber."

"You are defenseless."

He laughed.

"Young one, you have not yet begun to understand the basics of defense _or_ attack."

"Very well."

My blade cut a path across his chest. His robes parted, but his skin did not.

"I swear that I hit you."

"You tickled me."

His warm eyes hardened.

"Strike me, Padawan! With all your hatred and rage, strike me down!"

I lunged into a forward thrust that could have penetrated a metre of plasteel with ease. The point halted on his chest, and my momentum caused me to crash into him.

"Reckless."

_He_ _held the lightsaber blade._ I will never forget that image. He held the _wrong_ end of the lightsaber and took it from my hand!

"You should be dead! At least your fingers should be on the ground!"

Warmth returned to his eyes as he chuckled.

"The Force ebbs and flows continuously within and around us, nearer than breath, further than stars. Do you honestly believe that any mortal weapon compares to it?"

"But that's impossible! Not even the most prolific Force user can withstand a lightsaber edge!"

"That is true. Now you understand how far removed I am from this world. I am more Force than I am flesh."

He returned my lightsaber.

"That is why I entrust _all_ to you, Sar-Salan. You are of the flesh. You can understand what people feel without placing yourself above them. You are one of them. I am not."

I surrendered. I had seen too much to continue being proud, too much to even _think_ that I knew _anything_ at all. I bowed to him, my new master.

"Then train me, Joe. If I am to be redeemed in the ways of the Light Side, then redeem me, empower me!"

He placed hands upon my head in benediction. My mind sang with revelation.

"There is no power, there is only choice. Through choice, you unlock potential. Potential sets you free. With freedom comes responsibility. With responsibility there is the Force. The Force will redeem you."

I stood, mesmerized. My master smiled.

"_That_ is the Light Side Code."


	6. Training

His training regime was the most difficult experience of my life. He told me to rest, to sleep! Instead of rushing around full of energy I spent my days lazing under trees and rocks, Hanny and her bunny kin flopping all over me, chittering delightedly as they drained me of the Force, causing me even further fatigue and weariness. At the end of every day, while the sun's alpenglow changed the verdant plains into fields of gold, Joe stood before me and raised his hand ever so slightly. This was his command to _move,_ so I did. I danced wildly for him, lightsaber darting redly in the dusk, body moving with the fluidity and abandon of a river that breaks its banks. When night touched the stars I would cease, and retire for further sleep. I spent a fortnight in that manner. I watched the grass grow ten inches as I folded my hands beneath my head. I counted the hours until my next dance. I even came to know Hanny's forty-two family members by name, sight and scent. It wasn't that hard – their voices were in my head.

And slowly, as I felt the Force whispering placidly through myself, the grass, trees and sky, so did the bunnies become less interested in me and preferred the blades of grass to my shoulders. Then, only then, did Joe begin the next stage.

"Do you remember the Light Side Code?"

"I have no power, I only have choice. Choice unlocks my potential. My potential sets me free. Freedom brings responsibility. Responsibility brings the Force. The Force will redeem me."

"Yes. This galaxy knows not peace and death is everywhere. Battered and broken, the galaxy mistakenly gropes for power, whose corruption further exacerbates its sad condition. The Light Side is not about power or peace. It is about using the Force as it is meant to be used: for the redemption of this galaxy from the terrible darkness that grips it."

"What is that redemption, master?"

A smile of pathos beyond my comprehension touched that kind face.

"It is… not of this life. I am sorry, Sar-Salan. As long as there is life there will be a search for power, which inevitably results in ruin and death. Only when the search for power ends… only when mortality takes on immortality, is the redemption complete."

"You mean… those who are redeemed, live forever?"

"I am what I am, am I not? You saw Jen's mother, whose spirit flows evenly with the Force. This crude matter," he poked my shoulder, "This does flow even with the immortal, invisible Force. Why else are you subject to pain, to suffering, to death?"

I closed my eyes. It was so difficult to accept.

"You mean… I can never be good enough as I am now?"

The tone of his voice carried with it the weight of his burden.

"That is the way of the Light Side. This is what I have lived with for a millennium. This is the truth I carried while falsehood ran unbridled everywhere around me."

"Now I understand," I sighed, "Now I understand why the Council is so vague about everything. Now I understand why the Jedi have such blind faith in the Light Side. Considering the harsh reality of the truth, they prefer to follow what they can't understand!"

Joe bowed his head.

"How sad it is, indeed, that blind lead the blind."

His gaze was urgent as his words.

"You must make at least _one_ understand, Sar-Salan. After my endless life, you are the first I have gotten through to! If only the seed of truth can be planted, it will flower in time."

"Yes, my master."

"Please, call me Joe. That whole 'master' thing implies that I possess more power than you."

"You can hurl Corellia into its star if you wanted."

"What good will random displays of power do?"

"Other than impress the snot out of everyone?"

He rolled his eyes to the zenith.

"Further the cycle of death!"

"I apologize. I still think in terms of power."

He brought out his lightsaber, those fatherly eyes achieving laser focus.

"Well, you _will_ be thinking in those terms until you die. Life is a struggle; of course, we can't escape that absolute fact no matter how philosophical we are. Only in the next life will we be concerned with peace and all those happy ideals that utterly escape our physical grasp."

I bared my own blade.

"Right you are, Joe. Now let's dance."

"Don't step on my feet."


	7. Saber's Shadow

So it was all over, at last. No more retreating. Only advancing. I felt proud, but humbly so, because mine was a burden I, and only I, carried. Under guard, I boarded Revan's small, speedy command ship. I was escorted by four of her assassins, but I was not worried. The galaxy itself had its eye on me, and all was well. I stood in her chamber, but although the darkness was thick, I could now see the turbid flow of the Force through her diseased spirit. I pitied her.

"I expect good news after all this time." 

"Revan, I am your vassal no more."

The assassins were trained to respond at once to such treachery, and lifted their flashing sabers against me. I raised my fingers slightly, and they fell stiff as boards around me. Lights glared in the chamber as Revan's angry saber snaked from her hand.

"What trickery is this?"

"Force Paralysis."

I balanced my saber in the palm of my hand. Her eyes lit up with fury.

"You! You bowed to _him?"_

"That I did, and now, I bow to none."

"Then die!"

She clenched her fist to Force Crush me. Using the same principle of Force Paralysis, I negated her efforts. I walked forward in perfect tranquility, my heart beating with the Force.

"So you see, Revan, I walk a different path."

"That path leads to your doom!"

She leapt at me as a wildcat would its prey. I stepped aside and allowed her to skid.

"Reckless."

"Traitorous imp! You would dare challenge me, the Sith Lord?"

"Would you demand any less?"

"I demand obedience. Exile!"

A wall panel lowered to reveal a girl of slight build. Her blonde hair was cropped short above her sable robes.

"A child, Revan? You would pit a child against me?"

The Exile's saber flickered to threatening life while the Sith retreated to her inner sanctum.

"I will gain a name of honour from Lord Revan when I lay you at her feet."

"Such animosity, my dear, does not become your yet fair face. Turn away before it is darkened."

She circled me as a lioness on the hunt.

"You shall disappear within my saber's shadow!"

Her fighting style reflected her internal conflict. Once a sword of the Council, now subservient to Revan, she held within her the desire to be something greater. Something, no doubt, that Joe himself had found within me.

"There is more to the Force than mere power," I mentioned while parrying her deadly thrusts.

"What would the Light Side know of power?" she retorted, kicking me away before pirouetting through the air in a whirling strike that I hopped away from, as Hanny might.

"There is no power, there is only choice. Your choices unlock your potential," I lectured while deflecting her decapitating blows, "Your potential, not the Force, sets you free!" I somersaulted over her, "Freedom brings responsibility, which calls the Force to your side!"

"Silence! I will not hear the words of a traitor!"

I went on the offensive for the first time, and flicked her lightsaber from her hand to catch it in mine. As the Force was turbulent within her, so were her skills weak. I held her in place with Force Paralysis so the uppity minx would desist from her attempts on my life and instead listen.

"When the Force is yours, the Force redeems you. Not the Light Side. Not the Dark Side. There is only the Force, and it is all that matters, not this veil of flesh, not idle teachings or passionate speeches. _Let go of your hate,"_ I released her, and she remained, listening, "Let go of your anger. It clouds your mind to the point that your soul disappears in its shadow. Why be lost in darkness, when you can make choices that allow your spirit to be free?"

"You do not know the power of the Dark Side."

"I know the power of choice, Exile. I do not possess this red saber because I am a saint. I wield it as one who carries the burden of choice. I choose to redeem Revan, and now you, because I have seen salvation, and it will not mean that you, yourself, disappear."

I dropped her lightsaber at her feet.

"Now go. Ignore the words of a fool, or be the first of your kind to realize the potential of choice and not passion. Passion controls you, but you control choice."

She summoned her saber to hand.

"Peace is a lie…"

"This is not about peace," I stared at her and her eyes could not leave mine, "This is about the Force. There will never be a higher calling in your life, and you can either allow it to guide your footsteps or resist it and destroy whatever vestiges of yourself remain. You know the Force, Exile, and it knows you. There is no escaping that."

I Force pushed her and the paralyzed assassins out of the chamber and crunched the doors shut so that none would enter.

"Revan."

"So, you believe yourself to be omniscient in the ways of the Force. Pitiful fool, you shall experience the darkness you fight against."

Choking gas began to fill the outer chamber where I stood. She was safe within her walls of duratanium reinforced by a generator forcefield. No lightsaber could hope to best such a defense, but there was one trick Joe taught me that could.

"_LIMITER REMOVAL!"_

I smashed the casing of my lightsaber, disrupting the field emitter matrix and throwing the crystals out of alignment. The energies ran unrestrained and the lightsaber would have detonated had I not kept tight control with the Force.

"_PERIL BEAM!"_

I aimed my erupting saber at the inner sanctum. The dazzling red beam sliced through the multiple defenses and punched a hole in the hull. The rooms beyond Revan's chamber began to decompress, sucking out the killer gas as well as air, and an automated voice sounded across the ship to evacuate.

"_WIDE SWORD!"_

It tore through the length of the inner sanctum – including the ship – that cracked like an eggshell. Revan escaped, though. She had a talent for survival.

"Lunatic! It will destroy us both!" she shrilled. Truly, I had damaged my saber beyond repair and it was approaching critical mass, as more and more energy was pumped unchecked out of the power cells in a constant stream barely held together by my own strength. Meanwhile alarms blared, advising all personnel to abandon ship before the decompression collapsed the hull entirely.

"Run, Revan. Run to the ends of the cosmos. Run to the farthest star and keep on running. You will never escape the truth of the Force, and it will consume you."

My exploding lightsaber shuddered violently.

"You'd better go – I cannot hold this for long."

Without a word she ran, as she always would, now and forever.

And I, I remained. Soon it all became red, then white, then merciful black.

I open my eyes, realizing they have always been open. I am not blind; rather, I see the expanse of the void. Slowly the stars come into focus. I feel it. A heartbeat. A pulse, that resonates through the void and me. It is the affirmation of that whisper that had tantalized me all my life.

I hear a voice.

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

"Joe?"

His smiling visage came into view, robed in eternity.

"Welcome home, my young Padawan."

"Hey, we're equals."

"Such is the Force that its work is never done. For now, the night is over. This is the morning."

Now comes the song, the song of billions upon billions of souls moving around me. I see the Exile, returning to the Council for judgment. I see Revan, fleeing where she would not be found. I see Jen, Bob and Alice, whose work among the living is not yet done.

I at last see where I am.

Majesty. Glorious majesty. Yet no word, no thought, no dream can encompass the True Force. Only the soul of one departed from the mortal spiral of the galaxy could gaze upon the Totality.

"This," I say with irrevocable certainty that gladdens my heart, "Is why I live."

"Do you see?" says he who had lived a thousand years, "Neither heart nor tongue nor mind can conceive where it begins and where it ends."

I would have gazed evermore, but he moved toward it.

"Where are you going?"

"To be redeemed."

Out of that living ocean of light cries the voice that had whispered to us since birth.

"_Come!"_

As one spirit, one hope, and one joy we respond, _"Behold, I come!"_

END


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